Julio's Musings

I was witness to an amazing thing this past weekend: I got to see two of my best friends get married! It was beautiful and it took some effort on my part not to have cry. I may be way more in touch with my emotions at this point in my life, but it does not mean I like being emotional. It can be kind of a pain to be honest.

In this case, though, it was hard not to be. I was with Jack as he got ready and it was all becoming real that these two people that I’ve watched fall in love and grow together were finally getting married. Then the emotions hit me even harder when I went to see Nikki before we headed to the wedding site. To see her in that big beautiful dress ready to commit her life to Jack just made me smile and want to cry at the same time. I totally didn’t want to cry in front of all the girls, though lol.

As they stood together in front of all their family and friends, you could see just how much they love each other. You could see that this was something that was meant to be, and it was such a beautiful thing; something that I hope I’ll be able to find for myself one day.

It’s been a month and a half since the surgery to donate a kidney to my mom. Thankfully recovery for both of us has gone well. I’m very glad I finally started feeling much better in time for the wedding! Everything has been going well and she’s doing fantastically now.

What has caught me off guard over the past five weeks has been various people coming up to me and telling me what a wonderful thing I’ve done or calling me a hero. I honestly never know how to respond to any of that. For me, I didn’t really do anything. I simply lay down on a table and the doctors did all the work. They did a wonderful thing and they are the heroes here. 

And, as I write that, I know that if I were in the opposite position I’d be telling whoever what a wonderful thing they did and all that jazz. So, it comes down to me being terrible with getting attention and praise, haha!

I’m just happy everything has worked out.

We’ve almost gotten through half of 2013 now, and so far what this year has stressed to me is the importance of family. Something I am never going to forget is how, when I was in surgery, my friends were there in support. A lot of them stayed the entire day and took care of my parents when I went in and then stayed with my dad when my mom went in, too. None of them had to do that, but they took the day off from work and were there for me and my parents. The ones that couldn’t take the day off from work came over to see me later that day or in the days that followed and those that couldn’t kept in touch with me. Even though they aren’t blood (well, except for Julio A.), they are all very much part of my family.

I remember Nikki and Lauren, the two girls I think of as my sisters, seeing me one after the other when I started waking up. I can’t remember much of what they said or what I said to them (I was so out of it), but I always remember they both held my hand when they were with me. It was such a simple gesture for them to do, but it was the most comforting thing in the world at the time. I have vague recollections of seeing everyone: Jack, Julio, Heather, Sara, and my father. I think I told Heather about my morphine button. I remember surprising Julio with somehow knowing my room number. Everyone being there brought me some ease, and I’ll always be grateful to them for that.

One thing that was apparent from Jack and Nikki’s wedding was how well their lives melded together. It is not an easy thing to merge two worlds like that, but it really worked out for them. Not to say it’s completely 100% perfect since nothing ever is, but I witnessed two families that got along and partied together as well as two sets of friends that all got along and partied together. It was a reminder to me that whoever I end up with is going to have to be somebody that I can fit into their world and they can fit into mine. Someone who’s family and friends I can get along with and someone who will want to be part of my family and group of friends. I tried to do that differently before and it didn’t work well at all. My family, whether they are blood or not, are too important to me to have it any other way.

I’m going to end this with a few words to a few people:

Julio A. – You are actually family, but you’re still my friend, too. And even though we can be a pain to each other at times, I’m so thankful for you and your friendship. You’ve always been there for me in the good times and the bad, and I am so grateful to you for that.

Jack – My brother from another mother, I’m very lucky to have you as one of my best friends and I am grateful that you’re in my life (and honored that you had me in your wedding!). Nikki may have married you, but that doesn’t mean our bromance will ever end! 😉

Nikki – My sister from another mister, you have helped me in so many ways there is no way I could ever repay you. Just know how thankful I am for your kindness, love, compassion, and for all the times you had to kick me in the butt to make me see things more clearly!

Lauren – My other sister from a different mister, you are another one I could never repay for the countless ways you’ve helped me! Thank you, as well, for all the love, kindness, and patience you have shown me over the years. And thanks for always telling me like it is even when I don’t want to hear it!

Heather – You don’t always know how good of a person you are, but I do hope that one day you’ll see it consistently like the rest of us do. Thank you for always listening and being there for me.

Sara – You’ve always been one of the nicest people I’ve known and you’ve actually taught me to be a little nicer even when I don’t want to be. Thank you, too, for always being there for me!

Greg – I don’t get to hang out with you often enough, but it’s always a great time when we do! You’re a great person and I am very grateful for your friendship and thankful for the times you’ve been there for me.

John M. – You are another great person I don’t get to hang out with enough. I feel like we’ve gotten closer the past year or two, and I’m very glad about that. I look forward to more fun times ahead!

John P. – You will never read this, but I’m putting you in this anyway. You are still the most awesomely sarcastic person I know, but I also know how great of a person you are and I’m definitely glad to know you.

Andie – You’re probably the most creative person I know (which reminds me that I still need to finish my painting…). You’re always willing to listen and you tend to tell me things in ways I never would have thought of, which is shockingly pretty helpful. Thank you for being you, Andie!