Julio's Musings

I unexpectedly got into this rant earlier this evening, and so I figured I’d put it on this blog.

First, let’s see this comic I put a link to on my Facebook earlier today from Abstruse Goose:

This actually made me laugh. I found it funny. But, it brought up something I’ve thought for a while now, something that I used to think differently about, and that is the stupidity of the Friend Zone idea. I was all about the idea of a Friend Zone, that place that you’re placed in with no way out, but I’m not anymore. It’s a stupid concept. Why does such a place exist? It exists for the same reason men always use the excuse that women don’t like “nice guys,” and that’s because men need to make women the scapegoat for not having reciprocal feelings.

“Oh no! She just wants to be friends! Crap, this always happens to me! Here we go again: the ‘nice guy’ finishing last. She’s that typical girl who only likes a-holes and ‘bad boys.’ She just can’t appreciate what I have to offer. She’s just crazy for not liking me after all the things I’ve done for her; all the times I’ve been there for her when her loser boyfriends cheat or break her heart. Whatever…”

The problem with that way of thinking, and I’ll be honest in saying that I have had those types of thoughts years ago, is that it proves that the “nice guys” are basically the exact same as the “bad boys.” Thinking about all the things you’ve done for her or all the times you’ve been there for her and wondering why she doesn’t date you is basically showing that you only do those things so you can get into her pants. The problem is, the “nice guys” are pretending that they have the best intentions when they just have similar intentions as all other men. So, really, who’s the bigger a-hole? The guy who gets the girl by making his desires more readily known (even if he really does end up being a jerk in the end) or the guy who keeps wondering why he is constantly doing something for someone he claims he cares about and is not getting what he wants in return?

Like I said, I was like that at a point in my life. It’s obviously an incredibly disingenuous and immature attitude to have. Years ago, there was a girl I liked and I was always trying to go out of my way to do things for her or to show her how much I cared. I kept hoping that she’d see all these things and would want to date me, too. It never happened, though, and I kept wondering “Well, what the heck is wrong with me?” Thankfully, I wasn’t so full of myself to think she had a problem! But, I was so sad and disappointed she only wanted to be my friend until, one day, I just thought “What’s wrong with her wanting to be friends? She obviously likes me in some way to be friends with me, she just doesn’t have those other types of feelings. She knows I care and she cares too. It’s not the exact thing I wanted, but this friendship is pretty awesome.” Rejection sucks, but both sexes go through it. And, really, if being friends with someone you actually care about is a bad thing to you, then why should you have gotten that “more” you wanted to begin with?

One last thing on this whole “men are idiots” rant, though this one is more controversial. I don’t want to get into a debate on abortion with this. I’ll state now that I’m Catholic, so I obviously understand the religious objections on the subject. But this isn’t really completely about that. My problem is that there are a bunch of men in charge in the government that are trying to tell women that you can’t get contraception (no matter what the purposes are for) easily or through your insurance and, in some states, if you want to get an abortion (no matter what the reasoning) you need to have a transvaginal ultrasound beforehand. The problem I have with this is that there are so few women (if any) giving input in any of this and you have a bunch of men basically laying the blame on unwanted pregnancies on women. Men can get viagra easily and paid for by insurance, which in turn means they can go and get a woman pregnant. But, then, a lot of these men blame the woman for getting pregnant when, in fact, the blame is on the man as much as it is on the woman. Basically, men are saying “Hey, there, women! You shouldn’t get pregnant! You can’t use those things to help prevent pregnancy, that’s wrong! But, hey, I still need to get laid so let’s get going on this. But don’t go getting pregnant. That would be completely your fault for being a skank and opening your legs.” That just seems really off to me.

As for that transvaginal ultrasound requirement that Virginia was trying to pass, that’s beyond ridiculous. The state government is basically trying to dictate to a doctor what medical procedure they must do, even if it’s not necessary. This would be a requirement even in cases of rape. So, if a 13 year old child gets raped and the parents want to terminate the obviously unwanted pregnancy, then this child, who already is traumatized from having an unwanted thing forced inside of her, will, again, have to endure an unwanted thing forced inside of her by the very people that are supposed to help her. That’s just insanely wrong.

I’m honestly not a fan of abortion, but I’m also not a fan of trying to dictate what a woman can do for herself, especially when these rules and regulations are being brought about by a bunch of men who don’t know anything about being a woman. I’m a man, and as such, I will never know what it’s like to bleed every month, what pregnancy is like, what giving birth is like, what breast feeding is like, etc. Because of that, I should not be the one making choices on what’s best for the gender that does go through those things. Chances are there will always be males giving input about what women should do, but the males should be in the minority. It’s absurd for men to believe they should dictate how everything works for everyone, even when they have no experience in anything.

/rant