Julio's Musings

Disappointment

In my post on Wednesday, I wrote about how I was going skydiving. Well, we made the hour and a half journey to Wisconsin to go through with our skydiving plans. Unfortunately for us, the weather didn’t want to cooperate. It didn’t rain or snow or hail and there was not a tornado or anything of the sort. In fact, it was a partly sunny (or partly cloudy) day. The problem was the wind. The wind gusts were too strong to go skydiving. 

We signed our lives away. We took the short “class” about what we would have to do when we go up. We waited. Ultimately we ended up with rain checks. We have rescheduled our plans for October 8th early in the morning. I am definitely hoping that the weather will cooperate on that day.

To say we were disappointed is putting it mildly. We were angry. It would figure that the day we chose to go would be a day that we would be prevented from doing it. We had so much buildup, anticipation, and nervousness that was all pretty much for nothing. It was incredibly frustrating and put a damper on the whole day.

What am I Going to do Now…

I had a moment today where I felt pretty helpless. With me only being able to take one class next quarter, I don’t qualify for Financial Aid for the quarter. It means that the one class will have to be paid for mostly out of pocket. I left the meeting with my FA Advisor and just thought “Well, what am I going to do now?”

The answer as far as school goes is, sadly, that I will need assistance from my parents. It’s bad enough I’m still living at home, but now I need them to pay for school again? If I only had a job…I’ve been on the search for one in my field of study to no avail. I’ve gotten a few leads from various people the past few months, but none of them have panned out. Now I’m thinking perhaps it’s time to drop the search for a job in my field and just go find any job I can, including the ones I would hate to do.

As I sit hear typing this, I am realizing a very sobering fact: I have now become a drain on society. I’m a drain on my family, I’m a drain on my friends, I’m a drain on pretty much everyone. I’m going to be 28 years old in a couple of months and it seems like I’m practically a waste of space. I’ve had so many chances, so many opportunities to be great and I have, thus far, failed. I’m too dependent…I’m a drain.

Facebook

Oh, people are going to complain about Facebook soon. You see, the profiles are changing again. It’s now going to become a timeline of your life. The name of the new profile? That’s right! It’s called Timeline! It looks like this:

It shows your most important stories in what was the Wall. At the top you will have a place for a Cover photo. It can be any picture you want to use to express yourself. I just used one of my California pictures for now. Next to your profile picture and information, you have the links for Friends, Photos, Maps (of the places you’ve checked in) and Likes. At the right of everything you will see the time frames you can look through. You can see Now, the past few months, and then it’s split into decades. When you click on a decade, the different years from that decade will show up. Clicking on any of those will scroll you down to that period of time and show you the things you’ve said or done during that year.

I know once this becomes active for everyone in the next few weeks, people are going to complain about it. Honestly, after spending some time with it, I kind of like it. Their goal is to have a timeline of your life. You can even click on the middle line and add pictures or anything really to a certain point in time. If you want to add a picture of you from 2006, you can go to that point in the timeline and click on the proper place in that center line and add it to its proper point in time. Obviously, you don’t have to do any of that or change how you use Facebook. I just thought the idea of it all was kind of neat.

Pulling Back from the Negative

I was a bit negative above, so it seems like I should try and be a little more positive. As far as skydiving goes, we were pretty upset that we couldn’t do it, but on the plus side we did get to spend a day together and hang out. That’s something we don’t get to do often. We were also able to reschedule and got the date we wanted, so that worked out as well. Plus, we already signed all the forms and took the class, so when we get there first thing that morning we can just go straight to the plane to jump. We are still going to do this and it’s still going to be an amazing experience for the three of us!

With school, I looked at my degree audit and, if I read it correctly, I’m actually almost finished. I don’t have many classes remaining. As long as this one class a quarter thing doesn’t become the norm and the classes are available when it’s time, I could actually finish by next summer. But I have to get through this one quarter first, even with its financial hardship.

As for the job aspect of my life, that part I’m more uncertain about. But I shall try to continue being optimistic about it and start searching for other things that I hadn’t looked at before. I have to keep trying.

This post ended up a lot longer than I intended. I think it’s about time I head off to bed. This cold has been getting on my nerves the entire day. It’s terrible.

Hello, medicine. Will you make me better, please?