Julio's Musings

A Follow Up

In my last post, I wrote about seeing a lady sitting on Michigan Avenue with a sign. Well, I walked by her again and this time I managed to stop long enough to read it.

You can’t tell from the picture, but the sign says:

Checkbook/Wallet Stolen from Amtrak.

Congestive Heart Failure

Please Help

Can do legal and medial office work

Pray for Japan

The lady did manage to curse out a few other people. so I’m not alone now! Someone did stop to speak with her. All I could make out was him asking her if she had been there all day. Seems he had seen her earlier.

Now, I’m not going to be all Judgey McJudgeypants about this woman, but it still doesn’t seem like she’s hurting all that much compared to some of the others I pass by on my walk through downtown. Not to mention she got up and got on the bus to leave, so she can’t be completely hurting for money. Well, in theory.

Ultimately, I’m just glad I know what her sign says now! I can’t really help her, but at least I got to help my curiosity. That sounds selfish. Oh well.

Continued Quest for Spiritual Growth

Many months ago I wrote about repairing my spirituality. I spent time working on myself and it was time to repair my spiritual side and my relationship with God.

I’m currently sitting and watching my cousin and Sara’s choir practice writing and listening. They sing very loudly (or the volume of their speakers are set to 11). As I sit and watching, I see a group of people that have come together to pray and sing and worship. For a long time I had been missing that feeling in my life. While I don’t feel as they do when I’m in this church, I do feel it when I’m at my own church. I’ve worked on it a lot over the past four months and I’ve gotten to a place where I feel more comfortable with my spiritual side.

When I was in high school, I was more connected with it. I participated in the school masses, became a Eucharistic minister, and even became a leader for the middle school and senior class retreats. I was most connected with God during that time. I had lost that over the years and, while I tried my best to retain it, I couldn’t do it. I lost my way because I lost myself in my own pain, desires, sadness, etc.

I am different now. With the pain and sadness gone, my eyes and my heart are open. My happiness and confidence have grown because I let go of all the negativity and allowed more positive influences come in. I have let God back into my life fully. I still have my issues and things that need to be fixed and made better, but those things are much easier to fix now that my spirit and heart are healed.

Out with the Old…

I cleaned. I cleaned a lot. I had so much old stuff that I got rid of. A ridiculous amount of old stuff. Some of these things were from grade school, which was just about forever ago. At one point in my life, I would have tried to find a way to keep those things. That’s obviously what I did since I had so much unnecessary stuff.

This time I decided to just throw this stuff away. I’m tired of keeping so much crap that I never look at and don’t need. I found old books, old clothes, old papers, old toys, old boxes…it was just a lot of things that weighed me down and needed to go. Some of it will be donated, some of it was given to my nieces and nephews, and a lot was thrown away to be forever stricken from my life!

This process took about a week. It was on and off work. What I found happened to me during this process was that it helped me to close some of those old chapters of my life that were still open. It helped me get rid of things from the past I avoided dealing with. It actually brought a change in me. I don’t know how, but it did. And, thus, my growth as a person continues.

Music

I have two songs stuck in replay in my head right now, both of which are a bit on the angry side of things:

1) ALL CAPS – Delete You (iTunes, Amazon). This song is kind of catchy. I’ve had this album for a while, but I came across the video for the song a few days ago and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. The video is a bit odd, but I still like the song.

2) Kelly Clarkson – Let Me Down. This song actually isn’t available anywhere. It’s a demo that leaked. It could very well be on her next album. It’s a pretty typical angry-at-a-boy KC song, but I always love Kelly’s stuff. That’s probably because I love Kelly! This song has actually made me excited for her next album, which is supposed to come out in September or October. The only thing I fear is that, ever since her second album, anytime one if released I go through some weird annoying and bad period. It happened with Breakaway, it happened with My December, and it happened with All I Ever Wanted. So, my hope is that when her next album comes out nothing negative happens! I’m through with that kind of drama!

In Closing…

People are funny. I have seen a decent amount of drama go down the past week, and it’s all been pretty silly. What it all comes down to, ultimately, is that people just don’t know how to communicate with each other. They don’t share their feelings or ideas. They give up trying to make things change. They keep things secret that aren’t even really secret. They get angry or upset at any little thing. They argue. They ignore each other. They are passive aggressive.

So here’s my advice for everyone, and it’s something you have all heard many many times: Talk. Tell someone when you’re upset with them. Tell someone when they have hurt your feelings. Don’t keep the important things in your life a secret from your family and friends. Don’t give up on making things right. If you feel like it’s time to move on from having people in your life, tell them that. Don’t just try to make yourself disappear. Likewise, if you want someone to be in your life, tell them that. Fight for what you want. This applies to love too. If you have feelings for someone, let them know. Risk it! Make sure your family and friends know you love them as well.

Let go of your anger, your resentment, your disappointments, your fears, etc. There’s only so much time to do things. Don’t waste it.