Julio's Musings

“This has gotta be the good life. This could really be a good life, good life. Got this feeling that you can’t fight. Like the city is on fire tonight. This could really be a good life…” Good Life, OneRepublic

I am currently sitting in a car as I start writing this. It’s a cool evening on a day that was 40 degrees colder than yesterday. Crazy how it can be 95 one day and then 55 the next. The weather seems so volatile these days.

It’s been a while since my last written post. I’ve had some writer’s block of late. It’s been a long few weeks (or maybe more than a few. I’ve lost count) and I simply couldn’t find the words to put in a post. I still don’t have the words, but I’m going to write something anyway. We’ll see how it goes.

• Of all the things that happened the past few weeks, the worst was the death of my young cousin, Christian. Well, really, he was taken from us by a senseless act of violence.
• I remember when he was born and I watched him grow over his 18 years of life. He was always a good kid who loved his family and always did his best to take care of them.
• What I saw at his wake and funeral was an abundance of people that he affected and had a positive impact on. You don’t have that many people mourning your passing unless you are someone who did good things.
• Although he died at a young age and in a terrible way, the truth is that he lived his life to the fullest as a good man that his family and friends were proud of.
• He lived a good life.
• He is missed.
• The other things that bothered me over the weeks…I actually learned just how stupid and unimportant those things were.
• Those things did bother me more than I thought they would, more than they should have, really, but I see now just how much of a waste of my time, energy, and thoughts they were.
• These things always take me a bit longer than necessary to figure out, even if I have people telling me straight out, hahaha.
• But it wasn’t anything a few drinks and a long rant to a close friend didn’t ultimately cure.
• When you have amazing friends, and I definitely have amazing friends, things always turn out better than you think they will.
• You know, I’ve been a really crappy mood all week. 
• I always say how I need to learn to not hold things in, but I still end up doing it from time to time. And that’s when I end up anxious and crabby. That pretty much sums up how I’ve felt most of this week.
• Well, the anxious part is gone. Now I’m just crabby. I think it’s time to stop being like that. And sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…….DONE! Crabbiness is gone.
• …..well, mostly 😉
• I’ve been very blessed in my life. I really don’t have anything to be crabby about and so I should just enjoy things instead.
• It’s taken a long time for my eyes to be fully opened to all of my blessings (guess that’s what happens when you spend so many years getting more and more depressed unnecessarily), but I definitely see them now that I’m free of that type of sadness.
• I think they call that happy 🙂
• Even with my imperfections, I’m actually pretty awesome.
• I have amazing and wonderful things and people in my life.
• I have a good life.

Things I’m Currently Sick of:

1. The amount of senseless violence and murders that plague us
2. Writer’s Block (I hope it at least lessens now)
3. Dream stealers

Things I’m Not Currently Sick of:

1. Life
2. The amazing people that see the real me and bring stability to my life
3. The realization that dreams can change and be even better than the old ones ever could be.