Julio's Musings

NOTE: The first few sections here were written on August 4th. I’m just super late finishing this post. 

Ever have that feeling of being stuck? That feeling that nothing is going to change ever and you are going to spend your whole life in a complete rut? It’s a feeling that can last a lot longer than anyone ever really wants. But, chances are that feeling will definitely go away over time. For me, at almost age 27, that time has finally come.

Growing Up

Today I’ve come to realize that time goes by very quickly. Well, okay, I didn’t just realize that. It’s something I’ve always known. But it is something that has become very apparent to me more recently.

As I begin typing this, it is August 4th. I’m not entirely sure if this will be published on this day, but it’s when I’m starting. It is a significant day because it is the birthday of my twin niece and nephew. They are now two years old. It seems like just yesterday I was trying to scare my brother by telling him there were twins in there and then it actually being true. Haha, who knew? Of course after that I would try scaring him more by telling him a third one was hiding in the back, hehe. But those twins were born two years ago today. They are growing at such a fast pace. Both love running around and never really stand still. They are starting to talk (okay, well, the girl is starting more than the boy) and their little personalities are growing and it’s just amazing to see. Sometimes I wish I could see the world as completely new as they do. Everything is a new wonder and exciting for them. It’s just fun watching them discover the world around them.

It’s not just the little ones who are growing, but I’ve basically seen everyone around me growing in one way or another. Obviously we’re all getting older (I cannot believe I’m going to be 27 years old in a few months), but most everyone around me is maturing more and more in different ways. The common theme seems to be that people are gaining a better understanding of themselves as they are growing; an understanding that is taking them to new places. As always, growth is a constant thing that we all do whether we like it or not. It’s just good to see so many people finding their place in this world. And for those who haven’t yet, don’t worry, it’ll happen. I promise! 🙂

Preparation

This week was the first step in preparing for something that is going to happen in the future. The problem is, there is no telling when exactly it will happen. It could be tomorrow, a month, years, or possibly even never (though odds of the never are pretty much non-existent). It’s something important enough, though, that it is best to be completely prepared early so that when it happens there isn’t a huge panic. There is still so much to get done and to learn about before we can be fully prepared. As much as one wants to be scared and worried, there isn’t too much time for that. This is one of those things that you just have to put your brave face on and go forth! Here’s hoping we’ll be able to do whatever it is we’ll have to do.

From Addiction to Sobriety

Two of my favorite Kelly Clarkson songs are essentially songs that go in opposite directions. The first is called “Addicted” and it is about not being able to get over a person. You’re hooked and no matter how hard you try you always crave having one more hit. So, yeah, the person has become a need like a drug eventually does. Depending on the relationship, this could be a perfectly fine thing or it could be something not that great for either of you. I had the latter. I was completely hooked on a person and even when that person walked out of my life I was still craving another hit. It was such a strong feeling and desire and I’m pretty sure I drove people nuts always wanting to go back for more.

The second song is called “Sober.” This song is about, you guessed it, getting through the addiction and letting go and sobering up. “Three months and I’m still sober. Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers…And I don’t know. I could crash and burn but maybe at the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me…Three months and I’m still breathing. Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in…” You get the point from the various lyric snippets above. I guess it’s been stuck in my head because that third month is fast approaching.

What’s interesting is that, for the most part, I’ve lost track of how much time has gone by. It’s not something I really realize anymore. It came to me a few days ago, but I can’t believe so much time has gone by. I guess what’s more interesting to me is the fact that I’m such a different person than I was then. Sometimes change is forced on you like that I guess. Darn emotional trauma! Haha! 😉

Gaming

The game I’m currently playing is called “The Incident.” 

It’s a simple game. Basically it’s raining pretty much random crap and you have to run and dodge everything while climbing up the piles to your goal. Ultimately you’re going to get to the point where you’re climbing up to the cause of this “Incident.” It has a retro 8-bit look to it, but it’s a fun game to just pick up and play for a little bit at a time. It’s a universal binary meaning that you just need to buy it once and it works on both the iPhone and iPad. That’s always nice when you only have to buy a game once. I definitely recommend this game.

Current Song

The song I’m listening to the most this week is by A Fine Frenzy and called “What I Wouldn’t Do” off of their Bomb in a Birdcage cd. 

It’s just a very optimistically happy and romantic type song that for whatever reason has clicked with me this week. It’s simple with an innocence about it. I suppose after a few months of absence the part of me that is an overly optimistic non-jaded romantic is starting to reemerge. That’s good…I kind of missed that part of me.

And the Rest

I’ll end this by saying that I heart Felicia Day. I totally stole this photo from the article linked in the previous sentence, but I think she looks super beautiful in it. At least I gave credit for who took the photograph! And that guy has taken some nice pictures of my future wife, aka Kelly Clarkson, as well! So go him!

Photograph by Jeff Lipsky

And…yeah! That is all. Until next post. 🙂