Julio's Musings

This post was written while riding the train to and from downtown yesterday.

As usual, the time between my blog posts is counted in months. No matter how many times I say that I’m going to write more, I never actually end up doing it. And now I am writing away on the train simply because I have so much on my mind. Chances are none of it will be posted in this post, but I may as well pretend that I’m going to.

I think I’m at this point in my life where I finally feel comfortable with who I am. That’s not to say that I’m full of confidence and high self-esteem yet, but it’s all a long process. Getting comfortable with who I am was the first step. For the first time in forever I feel as though I have a direction and a purpose. I’m pretty confident with my schooling now, even though I’ve been in school since forever. I guess I’m just slow at understanding what I’m capable of. I’m starting to understand what my potential is. And with that understanding comes the ability to become great.

Does this mean that everything is perfect? Not at all. There have been plenty of times since my last blog post (roughly 5 months ago) that I felt everything in my life was going to fall apart. I took a risk and put myself out there with the hope and belief that what I wanted would happen, but instead it blew up in my face. Sometimes life is like that. We gain confidence and we put all we have into something, but for whatever reason it doesn’t work out. I suppose those are the true tests in life, what you do when the thing you believed in and just knew would work out doesn’t.

I’ve already gone through a range of emotions: anger, sadness, hope, loss of that hope, despair, new hope. Well I suppose that’s not really a range as opposed to just a bunch of similar feelings happening more than once over and extended period of time. I described this to one of my best friends as no longer being able to feel music: getting so wrapped up in something not working out and its consequences that I lost the ability to feel the music. That ability to hear the subtle nuances of background instruments or vocals. No longer being able to close my eyes and listen to or play a song and feel it. I let my emotions get the best of me.

Thankfully I’m starting to regain that ability. I had to remind myself that the changing of things does not mean my own world was falling apart. It meant that I had to remember all the things my life entailed. I have wonderful friends and family. My nieces and nephews are growing up so quickly. It amazes me sometimes how they’ve grown and just how smart they are. They definitely know more than I did at their age, though i suppose that’s true for any newer generation. The twins love to run around and be free. In four months they’ll be two years old. They need to slow down that growing up thing. Jazmin is 16 now. I met that girl when I was her age! Now she’s a full on teen in high school. She’s also incredibly smart. I realize she’s not technically my niece, but I’ve grown to love that girl like I do the other four. My family is such an important part of me and I want to be there to continue to watch them grow up and see the great things that they will all one day do.

My friends have always been wonderful (probably why I call them friends). I can call them anytime and they will be there for me no question. I probably forget that fact a lot, or, more accurately, I go out of my way to not bother them. That’s the problem, you see. I keep things to myself far more than I should because I always tell myself I’m just going to be bothering them. But this isn’t really the case. The fact is they care about me as much as I care about them, and since them coming to me wouldn’t be a bother I should always know i won’t be a bother to them.

I should talk about something more fun. A week ago I bought the Apple iPad. Interesting little device. I’m writing this blog from it, actually. I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to buy it. The actual reason I went to the Apple Store the morning it came out was because I had to write a paper about an event. Any event that was happening and that I was at. And so i decided to write about the iPad’s release. It was definitely an event. The line was around the corner of the store. There were actually two lines: one with those just showing up to buy one and one for those who reserved one ahead of time. I wasn’t decided on buying one, but I did reserve one ahead of time. Jaclyn was kind enough to go with me so i wouldn’t be alone. It was a cold and rainy day. We were both pretty much soaked, though Jaclyn was smart enough to wear a coat with a hood. So we get there and get in line. It’s about 30 minutes before the store opens. The Apple employees are handing out umbrellas to people, though we weren’t lucky enough to get one. Thankfully the guy in front of us was kind of sharing his. Also good was the fact that Apple brought Starbucks over to give out free coffee or hot chocolate to the people in line. It was nice to have some free hot chocolate on a cold rainy day. And yes I realize that I love cold and rainy days, but it will still nice! The people around us were pretty excited. News reporters were going around with their cameras asking people questions. The restaurant behind the Apple Store was actually taking orders from those in line and bringing them food (but not for free. The waitress was really cute though. Almost ordered something just to talk to her, haha). As we got closer to the time of the store opening, this really incredibly tall man somehow managed to get in front of us. No idea how he did that, but he was really tall and it was pointless to argue with him. I mean, it was the reserve line; it’s not as if he was going to get the last one right before me or something. And plus, did I mention he was a giant?

So the line starts moving and it’s going pretty quickly. When we got to the entrance and they let us in, we were surrounded by clapping employees. Clapping employees to the left, clapping employees to the right, clapping employees up the stairs…it was a bit ridiculous. I mean, I get the point is to have the customers be all super excited that they were getting the brand spanking new Apple product, but it was a bit much. I’m sure some of them thought so too…or maybe not. Who knows? So as we get up the stairs an employee immediately greets me and takes me to the nearest Apple Genius so I could buy an iPad. It was an incredibly efficient process. And I’m also sure it was an incredibly efficient way to take my money. I’m pretty sure I’ve never spent so much money so quickly without realizing it. That’s how bloody fast and efficient it was.

As we leave the Apple Store, we get stopped by an ABC reporter asking if she could interview us. We said sure. She first talks to me, probably because I was holding the Apple bag. Jaclyn would probably remember better than me, but I’m pretty sure I rambled on like an idiot and wasn’t making sense. I didn’t know what to say! Luckily when the report actually aired, I was completely cut out. Jaclyn was there, though, as the friend who was begged to tag along. Lame! I didn’t beg her to go! Darn news station wanting things to sound more interesting. That’s ok though. It was hilarious to watch.

All in all, it was an interesting experience. It was the first time I had gone to the release of a product. Even with the iPhone I waited until months after release. But it was interesting and I’m pretty happy with the device as a whole. Fun times.

I’m sure that there is plenty more to talk about, but for today that’s it. Hopefully it won’t be another five months until my next post.